Sitting around stewing in my own juices is driving me crazy and I am expending to much energy. I simply can’t wait to get things off my chest.
So I composed and email to the “other” I expressed pretty much everything that was going through my head. And I sent it. Now I will have to just wait for the response.
I need to know what her thoughts and feelings are, this is not a casual play anymore, for me anyway.
Feel alot better now and can focus on other things.
smart you to send an email. That gives you the opportunity to say what is in your heart and in your head with no interruptions. I did that very same thing the other day with my little man. Worked out quite well too as we have patched things up and gotten back on track.
That’s sound good Ranna. Why do you call him your “little man”. Does maybe that mean something? Hmmm.
I think it is a bit easier to say what you want via email without stumbling and gives others the chance to do the same. And gives you time to think.
I’m totally with you guys on the email thing…
In this case.
I also wait for a response…
Ouch.
The ‘ouch’ was for you, by the way…
Thanks Vanessa. I appreciate your comments. Yours too Ranna.
I am feeling a bit bummed today. I can’t seem to snap out of it. I think the thought of losing her is to blame. It’s seems only enivitable.
I mean how fair is for her? What if she really would like to be with me? She can’t persue me. There is a big brick wall in the way (my marriage). But I still don’t want to lose her. I am not sure I have the strenth to do that. I know it will be hard getting over her and it’s not something I want to do right now.
I won’t get a response until Monday when she returns, so it will be a long uncomfortable weekend. Just seeing her will make me feel a whole lot better.
How th F did I get myself here. Damn this sucks. I could be happily going about my life if I didn’t meet her. I guess everything happens for a reason. Maybe it’s just my turn for karma to rip my heart out.
I’ll share a poem will you guys she wrote me before she left:
“Has anyone ever caught your attention with just one look? Held your gaze for a secong longer than you’d care to admit? Yet long enough to that they knew you were looking back?
Has your heart ever skipped a beat? Ever had to catch your breath because being so close stole it away?
Have you ever melted into someone? Been weak in the knees?
I have definately been distracted….”
Ahh unfortunately it will be an uncomfortable weekend for you for sure. However know this much, you can’t change what has happened this far. However, from this point on you are in control of what happens next. As I have said many many times before, look at what YOU want. Then work to make that happen. If she is truly what you want then you need to tell her that and let her know that you are ready to END (i emphasise END) your marriage and be with her. If this is not what she wants then you have no other option than to move on. But if she truly cares for her as her poem suggest she may then she will choose to be with you as well. BUT IT IS ONLY RIGHT TO END THE CURRENT MARRIAGE YOU HAVE. DO NOT CONTINUE TO LIVE IN THE HELL YOU ARE IN NOW BY AN AFFAIR! It will only end in total devestation to everyone I fear! Take care man, and let me know what happens!
And no i dont call him my little man for anyother reason than that was just what popped into my head. LOL!! He’s 6′1 and all of 175 and firm! And everything else is directly porpotionate! OOPS Too much info i fear! HA HA HA HA HA
Just wait out the weekend and see what she says. Ranna has absolutely the right idea, but for now…
Wait.
I hate waiting, heh.
Congratulations on making the first move for change. You just have to hang in there. I see you’ve got a lot of good comments here already, so I hope you’ve felt better through blogging about everything! Good luck…!